Awake

I see light reflecting through what looks like water. It forms shapes chaotic and clean.  I hear nothing. Beyond the light is gray-brown smoothness.  The light is writing in a language I can not read but still I am relaxed watching it write.  I do not know what it says but I feel peace.

I hear now.  I hear my breath steady and deep.  I hear a continuous rumble, like I have cupped my hands over my ears.   The sounds are calming.  My breath reminds me I am alive.  The rumble blocks out distractions.

I am alone, watching the light. I feel a warmth crawl up my face.  The warmth starts at my cheeks and travels to my forehead. I can not move my head because the desire to do so is gone.  The light and warmth have my full attention.  I feel weightless and heavy at the same time. 

I start to fall asleep.  I close my eyes.  I still see the light. My eyelids are warm.  The light is red and orange.  Foggy images streak in of the light now.  Images like memories slowly fading away in the light.  The light seems brighter and warmer now.  I feel like I am being carried. I am on my back. The warmth dances across my body down my arms and legs.

I open my eyes.  I am refreshed like I have slept and woken up on my own.  I have never been so awake before. I look at the light. What looked like water is now like glass.  Countless cracks crawl across the surface.  I hear what sounds like thunder, so loud my hears begin to ring.  The light falls on to me penetrating my skin.  I feel no pain.  I close my eyes.  The ringing in my ears begins to fade. 

I try to open my eyes again; they are sealed closed with sleep.  I wipe them open with the back of my clenched hands. I open my eyes.  The light is gone.  I look around.  I am home.  Home is familiar but somehow new.  Everything I look at seems brighter.  The world has become transparent.  I can see things I never saw before. I see the light again but I am somehow a part of it now. 

I look deep into the transparency and I see darkness.  I reach out my hand to touch it.  The darkness evaporates.  Surprised, I pull back my hand. Deep inside me the desire grows to reach into the darkness again.  Things get brighter each time. I realize I am awake. Everything before the light seems like a dream.  The desire return to sleep is gone like something I have outgrown.

-Tye Parks